Loneliness is not the same as being alone. We choose to be alone, but we never chose to be lonely. Loneliness is known to all. Loneliness is the experience of being left out of life, of feeling unimportant, of having no meaning.
People who have been lonely for a long time find it increasingly difficult to connect with others.
People who experience loneliness feel alone even when they are surrounded by other people. Their loneliness comes from their inability to connect with those around them.
What might be behind this? The difficulty in making contact is often a consequence of the exclusion experienced in childhood or early adulthood. Adults who have been bullied at school as children or adolescents, for example, can become isolated and develop a false internal image that something is really wrong with them. They feel left out of everything and can no longer relate to anything. People who did not receive the emotional support and attention they needed from their parents as children can also experience loneliness. They feel that no one will understand or support them.
The problem with loneliness is that it is self-perpetuating. Lonely people tend to avoid social situations because it makes them feel anxious and that no one understands them or cares what they have to say.
Anxiety-relief techniques taught by a psychologist can help a lonely person to get closer to others and take small steps to improve their self-confidence and self-worth.